IT'S BIGGS!

Yesterday marked my 6th month in PwR. The first three months were crucial, nonetheless I can say that I have gained a place to what we always call "a small company with so many big projects". Now in my 6th month, I must say that I have found my strong points, as well as my weak points. My weak points these past few days made me a little bit depressed and frustrated because I came to a point that I an struggling to determine my "role" even I literally know the job I am supposed to do everyday, and so the thing called "belongingness" which I felt I don't because I am finding the most suitable role for myself amidst of all the problems and personal concerns recently. I always wanted to be of help but probably because of my weakness, some things cannot be completely held by me alone... Well... Maybe.

Still, I thank the whole "team" for filling up the things I've overlooked and for believing that I can be worthy. What I can do now is to shape up myself to make the strong points my "asset", and hopefully to lessen being forgetful of things. I know no one is perfect, but there is always a room for improvement. Thanks, guys. 

At home, Albert's parents are here in Singapore and I couldn't be happier for we are getting more than a dose of pinoy dishes and of course not to mention the whole package of having a 100% ambiance of pinoy home. I am so excited for the weekend because we're going to tour them on the places they have not seen yet. I cannot wait! ;)

I am glad to know that one of my so-called "personal" issues is almost coming to an end. Some answers are already cleared off the line, and yes, sure, a lot has already been explained even though I don't ask for it. All I can say is that my mind felt cool and calm, and somewhat away from being majorly restless... even just for tonight.

A very random thought: Why did I not aspire to become an actress, or an instant celebrity in the first place?

HAHAHA.

As I was watching the season finale of The Glee Project, several things came in to my views on the show... The contestants' lives would change drastically because they were given a chance to pursue their dreams. Yeee... Cheesy much. But that's a fact. In an instant they became one of the people all the Glee fans would be rooting for, shouting their names for, and most of all, would be glaring on the TV screen in every episode of the show.

Ironically from my blog post below, I was saying that it's funny how life can play with you like a yoyo spinning on a rough road. Some can have a hard time dealing with what they need to settle with. Whenever I watch reality shows or anything related for that matter, I always feel I can relate to the one who's supposed to go home and cry. But then again, it will contradict my actions whenever I think that winning a game isn't something you cannot achieve by not losing on the first try. Weeeellll, That statement is basically, of course, not applicable for people who were born VERY LUCKY.

I cannot totally despise how I live every single moment in this planet. I am still happy to know that I am still who I am, even if the world changes every tick on the clock. :)

Theeeen agaaaain, why do I always see the world being so unfair whenever I see Alodia Gosiengfiao?!

Tell me!

xoxo

You really cannot mess up with life.

In the first place, who the hell wants to get his/her life messed up, anyway? But you know what I'm thinking. Sometimes, when life plays the nasty way, you can't help but just go with the rules and roll in the mud. Well, just saying.

It's not only now that I can realize that I must value every minute, every second, nor every moment of everything. My always problem would be that, I can always realize things, but never valuing them at 100%. Like now. Whether it may be at work or my own personal life, there are some things you can consider that are least prioritized, overlooked, but will never come to a point that it is neglected... But you know, there's always an impact to every choices. To every decisions. To every word you will say 'yes' or 'no'.

But what about those instances you didn't choose to happen?

I never choose to get sick, but maybe I chose to abuse my food intake. I never choose to get a damn problem at my project on site, but perhaps I chose to overlook on some things and absorb almost all of the complaining... and I never ever choose, nor even pray to get somebody's life ruined, but it's as if it is all happening in a blink.

I remember a friend in college who told me these line, "Better be weak for a moment, for you to become stronger." When she said that, all the feeling of heartbreak and frustration starts to brew in... like a hard liquor that still lingers in your throat after you drank a shot. ...and those words were like lifting my guard up to shield myself from hurting back and forth... I never learn to forget, I must say...

I need to become stronger. I need to overcome the fears of a past nightmare. Then again, life would still toy on me and to challenge me on my preferences. I know I am not being with myself lately, and will be asked with the question, "why you're not acting like you're used to?"