Yesterday marked my 6th month in PwR. The first three months were crucial, nonetheless I can say that I have gained a place to what we always call "a small company with so many big projects". Now in my 6th month, I must say that I have found my strong points, as well as my weak points. My weak points these past few days made me a little bit depressed and frustrated because I came to a point that I an struggling to determine my "role" even I literally know the job I am supposed to do everyday, and so the thing called "belongingness" which I felt I don't because I am finding the most suitable role for myself amidst of all the problems and personal concerns recently. I always wanted to be of help but probably because of my weakness, some things cannot be completely held by me alone... Well... Maybe.

Still, I thank the whole "team" for filling up the things I've overlooked and for believing that I can be worthy. What I can do now is to shape up myself to make the strong points my "asset", and hopefully to lessen being forgetful of things. I know no one is perfect, but there is always a room for improvement. Thanks, guys.

At home, Albert's parents are here in Singapore and I couldn't be happier for we are getting more than a dose of pinoy dishes and of course not to mention the whole package of having a 100% ambiance of pinoy home. I am so excited for the weekend because we're going to tour them on the places they have not seen yet. I cannot wait! ;)

b l a b ver.1.0

I am glad to know that one of my so-called "personal" issues is almost coming to an end. Some answers are already cleared off the line, and yes, sure, a lot has already been explained even though I don't ask for it. All I can say is that my mind felt cool and calm, and somewhat away from being majorly restless... even just for tonight.

A very random thought: Why did I not aspire to become an actress, or an instant celebrity in the first place?

HAHAHA.

As I was watching the season finale of The Glee Project, several things came in to my views on the show... The contestants' lives would change drastically because they were given a chance to pursue their dreams. Yeee... Cheesy much. But that's a fact. In an instant they became one of the people all the Glee fans would be rooting for, shouting their names for, and most of all, would be glaring on the TV screen in every episode of the show.

Ironically from my blog post below, I was saying that it's funny how life can play with you like a yoyo spinning on a rough road. Some can have a hard time dealing with what they need to settle with. Whenever I watch reality shows or anything related for that matter, I always feel I can relate to the one who's supposed to go home and cry. But then again, it will contradict my actions whenever I think that winning a game isn't something you cannot achieve by not losing on the first try. Weeeellll, That statement is basically, of course, not applicable for people who were born VERY LUCKY.

I cannot totally despise how I live every single moment in this planet. I am still happy to know that I am still who I am, even if the world changes every tick on the clock. :)

Theeeen agaaaain, why do I always see the world being so unfair whenever I see Alodia Gosiengfiao?!

Tell me!

xoxo

post - illness sulking

You really cannot mess up with life.

In the first place, who the hell wants to get his/her life messed up, anyway? But you know what I'm thinking. Sometimes, when life plays the nasty way, you can't help but just go with the rules and roll in the mud. Well, just saying.

It's not only now that I can realize that I must value every minute, every second, nor every moment of everything. My always problem would be that, I can always realize things, but never valuing them at 100%. Like now. Whether it may be at work or my own personal life, there are some things you can consider that are least prioritized, overlooked, but will never come to a point that it is neglected... But you know, there's always an impact to every choices. To every decisions. To every word you will say 'yes' or 'no'.

But what about those instances you didn't choose to happen?

I never choose to get sick, but maybe I chose to abuse my food intake. I never choose to get a damn problem at my project on site, but perhaps I chose to overlook on some things and absorb almost all of the complaining... and I never ever choose, nor even pray to get somebody's life ruined, but it's as if it is all happening in a blink.

I remember a friend in college who told me these line, "Better be weak for a moment, for you to become stronger." When she said that, all the feeling of heartbreak and frustration starts to brew in... like a hard liquor that still lingers in your throat after you drank a shot. ...and those words were like lifting my guard up to shield myself from hurting back and forth... I never learn to forget, I must say...

I need to become stronger. I need to overcome the fears of a past nightmare. Then again, life would still toy on me and to challenge me on my preferences. I know I am not being with myself lately, and will be asked with the question, "why you're not acting like you're used to?"

"They laughed at me because they think I'm different. I laughed at them because they are all the same." -CFAD shirt, circa 2006

ex-obsession revival

Aside from blogging, one of the things that I would like to do (well, that is, after reaching the latest episode of One Piece) is 1) fanfiction-writing; 2) playing online games, and 3) playing Sims.

Yup, you've read it right! Sims 3 to be exact. :)

For those who do not know yet, "The Sims" is a social simulation game that started on pc games wayback early 2000's. From the original game, it made its game enhancements sometime around 2006 or 2007, and called "The Sims 2". I was addicted that time, given that I am fond of making different characters and so with, of course, houses. The game made way for further re-modelling and sometime late 2009, it launched again the 3rd version of the game which houses more features and walkthrough. Pretty cool, I must say.

Since I was so outdated with the game, recently I saw in gaming shops here that it paved way to another expansion. I was i total bliss...! I just do hope I could find something to get it.

I really cannot wait to go home now and... see for myself. I'll find a way for sure. nyahahaha *evil laugh*

Sublimed

Yes.

If you must know, my "personal quote" have won over my ideals these past few days. I never thought that some things happened as if it was done out of plain make-believe. I always believe that not all days are happy days, so are the lonely days. And yes, shit happens. Face it.

Can't help but to feel frustrated especially when all your motives were as clear as a teardrop. I thought I have already tried to collect everything that I need, in order for me not to feel again this heart-wrenching feeling. But then again as I have said, these past few days, I think I was wrong. It was like, a "sweet" nightmare is trying to haunt me down... Yeah. Right. True enough. So true that it's sour to swallow. And I am not liking this.

But look at the bright side. I am still here, still taking on to the possibilities that this may be really a "dream". I am even more determined to know what my jumbled reveries is trying to decipher... but one thing's for sure... I have to cease the fire. Let this feeling ebb away. Still, I only know one thing and for me it's so damn real...

I love you, my nakama.

Toycon

Albert and I are currently at the Toy Convention here in Suntec. Weee soo many toys (duh, obviously lol) and comic artists that came in here, so as cosplayers which some I am not familiar with. Hehe. We'll be coming back tomorrow too so we can watch the cosplay competition.

Will post photos soon!

Yay!

My paper bag curls from last night's "sleeping-sacrifice" was 101% percent effective! Actually it did not only made it curly, it's too kinky! Probably because my hair is not yet too long or maybe that I sectioned my hair and twirled it in different motions haha. I tried to kinda "wet" some in order not to bounce that much and it is kinda so shape-y, that I may looked like a messed up onigiri. Haha. Anyway, I don't mind if I may not maintain the curlness all throughout the day because this is only just my first trial. I'm just so happy that after hours of sleeping uncomfortably with paper bag strips (but rollers are even worse) it came with very satisfactory results. ;)

More pictures!

So that's it! Off to work for now! Actually I am on the bus while writing and I am about to alight now. Happy Saturday everyone!

Seafood in curly pore strips

Our Company Dinner held in Long Beach Seafood Resto was really nice, despite of me, chillin' my bones out seeing all the big, snappy claws of those raw, uncooked crabs inside the aquarium. But surely, I had a great time spending with them and I even found new facts to some of our colleagues that we did not really know of. Even though I have a minor fear of crabs, (as Spiders being my main phobia) I still somehow managed to maintain a reserved self and even got the nerve to eat chilli crab for the second time (the first being at the pre-nup celebration of my design partner, Rebecca) As always, the sauce was fantastic, a perfect match to the hot bun for you to dip. I firmly believe that crabs, when already cooked, are no longer a "threat" to me, instead, I will be their threat to it. Haha. Devour!!!

Yum Yum Yum!

Lucky enough, Boss' way going home will be a nearer route to my place. I went home as early as expected. Thanks for the dinner and for the ride, Boss. I always hope everyday would be your birthday. Hehehe.

When I get home, I took a bath since my hair got messed up with some chilli crab sauce (gross) and it smelled awful. While on the bath I thought of curling my hair using Michelle Phan's paper bag curls tutorial and this is how it looked like:

Really an effort! Haha! I just do hope it would turn out real nice curls tomorrow hehe. Also whilst I was folding our freshly washed clothes I tried to use the pore strips I bought last Thursday. Kinda nice also but it gives me this dizzy feeling because of its strong, aromatic smell.

Yes, it's black. And somehow it DID got my tiny whiteheads, dirt, and all the impurities that facial wash cannot do at a hundred percent. Well... Maybe I should also try Michelle's DIY pore strips tutorial... I just need some gelatin to create one. We'll see.

Gotta sleep for now! I had my dose of One Piece episode marathon for tonight and I have forgotten that I have work tomorrow lol. Glad that my menstrual cramps was gone the moment I munch on those crab legs. ...maybe that was the cure, eh?

Have a Good Weekend ahead! xoxo



PS
Dang, Blogger+ app for iPhone 4 is so freakin' cool!!!

One Piece

Haha would you believe I am starting to watch One Piece again...? Aaaand not to mention we started from episode 1! Yes, baby. Episode ONE. So I was like, "...cooool 500+ episodes to go. BRING IT ON!" with the rocking finger and all.

Setting aside the sarcasm, I was only in the mood to watch because both me and Albert felt like watching a considered "classic", or rather a "phenomenal" anime like OP. And since I only watched episode 1 back then (haha yeah I'm a total sucker), might as well continue. Hehe.

I am about to sleep now, and before I sleep, let me tell you that I am so lovin' this iPhone app I downloaded where I can post my blog entries like this in a breeze! It's called Blogger+. Try it! ;)

Majulah Singapura x Disappointment

We didn't do anything special for today, except that we just bum around and get lots of rest, whilst the others went out to celebrate Singapore's 46th National Holiday.

I couldn't get anymore frustrated with the events that might have happened today. It is also our 67th month anniversary... If only Albert is not on-call for work, we could have gone out somewhere. sheesh.

What I am actually looking forward for today is the chance of meeting my dad before he goes off to Slovenia.. He left in the Philippines a while ago to stop here and take his connecting flight to Istanbul, then another flight to Koper, Slovenia. But then again, what made him hold back is that, he feared he might walk too long just to get out for at least a good two and a half hours just to meet me...

At that time I realized what more can be better when you see him. I truly missed my dad, I truly missed everyone in Pinas. Just the thought of him 10 minutes away from where I am, thrills me. I cannot get over with the fact that I let this day off not seeing him. I was all excited on facebook and twitter, but because it ended like this, I feel very sad and frustrated.

The chance of meeting Papa slipped away just like that. I just do hope that by eating iced cream, I would feel better.