when i think of writing these reveries spinning on my head in my multiply blog, i suddenly thought of some place not too flashy and more private to express what i feel tonight. this site has been down for years and now, i stopped furnishing my thesis just to do the comeback. well for some may thought this 'comeback' of "re"-generating this site would be a sure, nice feeling like, hello-again-blogspot to count, this day...
...Biggs is depressed.
I was so down not because of the thesis work (anyway i became immune to it so i don't mind) but because of someone. I may be wrong in all perspective and was claimed guilty for it, but in some point i know i stood at the right decision. But then there creeps this feeling of being indecisive when it comes to what this person may actually feel. I was too down, so down that i want to scold myself, for being wrong and insensitive at the same time. I can't help but to cry for the things I've done, for the things i said half meant, and for all the gestures seemed to have made wronged the whole of me.
I felt really sad and alone right now... and there's no one i knew whom i can throw up these feelings except this good old blog container. I had nearly tire a person's whole being, so much that I myself wanted to free this person and stop from prolonging the patience and love given to me. I was so stubborn that i actually think of giving up.
I don't know what to do anymore... I want to rest, and maybe i hope i can find myself to become more better... if only i could say it...
...Biggs is depressed.
I was so down not because of the thesis work (anyway i became immune to it so i don't mind) but because of someone. I may be wrong in all perspective and was claimed guilty for it, but in some point i know i stood at the right decision. But then there creeps this feeling of being indecisive when it comes to what this person may actually feel. I was too down, so down that i want to scold myself, for being wrong and insensitive at the same time. I can't help but to cry for the things I've done, for the things i said half meant, and for all the gestures seemed to have made wronged the whole of me.
I felt really sad and alone right now... and there's no one i knew whom i can throw up these feelings except this good old blog container. I had nearly tire a person's whole being, so much that I myself wanted to free this person and stop from prolonging the patience and love given to me. I was so stubborn that i actually think of giving up.
I don't know what to do anymore... I want to rest, and maybe i hope i can find myself to become more better... if only i could say it...
Posts
