post - illness sulking

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

You really cannot mess up with life.

In the first place, who the hell wants to get his/her life messed up, anyway? But you know what I'm thinking. Sometimes, when life plays the nasty way, you can't help but just go with the rules and roll in the mud. Well, just saying.

It's not only now that I can realize that I must value every minute, every second, nor every moment of everything. My always problem would be that, I can always realize things, but never valuing them at 100%. Like now. Whether it may be at work or my own personal life, there are some things you can consider that are least prioritized, overlooked, but will never come to a point that it is neglected... But you know, there's always an impact to every choices. To every decisions. To every word you will say 'yes' or 'no'.

But what about those instances you didn't choose to happen?

I never choose to get sick, but maybe I chose to abuse my food intake. I never choose to get a damn problem at my project on site, but perhaps I chose to overlook on some things and absorb almost all of the complaining... and I never ever choose, nor even pray to get somebody's life ruined, but it's as if it is all happening in a blink.

I remember a friend in college who told me these line, "Better be weak for a moment, for you to become stronger." When she said that, all the feeling of heartbreak and frustration starts to brew in... like a hard liquor that still lingers in your throat after you drank a shot. ...and those words were like lifting my guard up to shield myself from hurting back and forth... I never learn to forget, I must say...

I need to become stronger. I need to overcome the fears of a past nightmare. Then again, life would still toy on me and to challenge me on my preferences. I know I am not being with myself lately, and will be asked with the question, "why you're not acting like you're used to?"

"They laughed at me because they think I'm different. I laughed at them because they are all the same." -CFAD shirt, circa 2006

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