i just got enthralled with some stories of love... one-sided love.

i remember the good-tormenting old days of me, having one.

mine isn't that exquisitely known as a heroic act of love; umm maybe a puppy, young or so... but i must say it has been one of my unforgettalbe experience in my almost two-decade of existence. hehe... the fact that i am that young back then.

have you gone to that feeling? you always feel the love you have always dream of, but it just so happened that you and you all alone feel it... because you have to. and because you need not want to tell it to.

during that time of my life i felt so regretful of not telling to someone i like what i feel. it is because he can never know and feel what i am going through, as i hid my feelings and eventually will take me years to protect it. (mine took me more than five years without anyone knowing it) ...the feeling of being contented of you, just being his or her friend and nothing else more, was painful at the same time. so very painful...

why? well, you could have venture something nicer than what you and that special someone are right now if there hasn't any 'another' person will come into your lives. you could have been happier without worrying anything nor anyone... and lastly, you won't be hurting another individual's feelings... all these would mean risks. yep, with the 's'.

however, there are times that i don't feel regretful at all that i didn't tell my special someone in the past that i had fallen for him. it is because i am the type of person that considers and values what is actually more important than anything else for that span of time, us being together. none other than friendship...


whew... even though he, is now just ranked as my ultimate crush, i can't stop thinking what will he and i become if those circumstances happen? silly... i just hope he is fine and well, though he's so far away from me now, in the U.S. ...

i am saying and recalling these thoughts not because i am trying to show to somebody to make a a move (but it turns out it looks more like of it) to tell his or her feelings... you see, as what my first introductory line, i am enthralled with some stories of one-sided love... because i myself once got into it. whoa... afterall, this is a free express-your-feelings journal entry. haha, don't get me wrong, i am happy with my life now....


all my rebellic acts of my hunger strike and mute self was over... arrrgh.. i guess i was just too addicted with this anime watching thing... but overall, i am glad...

to you: thanks. i hope you learn though little from my not-so-good stories... thanks for trusting me. take care. ^_^