so it was true...

lutang na naman ang utak ko. and this is even graver... my ex-blockmate, kenneth siao---kenji, committed suicide.

c o n f i r m e d .

i still can't believe it... i just can't!!!!!! this is outrage!!! and the sh*t part in here is that, no one could tell why... his family told the ones who hold the mystery to buzz off and not take it as a big ish... taena! and why the heck... oh no...

i felt like crying. not that i feel pity or sympathy or whatever related words to that. i feel mad... and confused. and going depressed again. i can't understand kenji why. so maybe i could assume he had really lots of problems... or maybe on the very contrary he wanted to explore the lines of death and just be like that...maybe my conclusions were wrong, or right all along. you know, in just a short while we have known kenji for being a little weird with different ideas scattered in his head. but then hindi yon nakahadlang para maging friend namin sya.

i'm sick of this... one day i was talking about mike's tragic death, and now this... i was praying last night that i hope this rumor was just a joke. but then it came to my senses that i really have to accept this damn fact. i have no choice... several days from now it would be his 30th death day. see how fast it was. we weren't even informed. you can't blame us, we've got our lives to deal with too...

kenji... man. wherever you are right now, though i don't know what is really your motive, though i think of you right now and maybe you're beside me, together we read this lines i am typing for you, and sooner you'll ignore this, but hell kenji my friend... i don't care.. i'd like to say this. out loud, in your wasted spirit...

ang unfair mo pare... eat that.