[ [ k a n j i t e :: tulala ] ]
[ [ u t a :: Akin Ka Na Lang ~Itchyworms (oh yeah! itchy!) ] ]

lunes pa lang, alam kong may mali na... dahil dun sa inuman session namin ni ate tin last sunday night, i woke up, almost seven in the morning... oh eh ano ngayon? adik ka ba, 7am ang call time for school! i didn't make to see my prof. asuncion na, me libreng sermon pa kay ina! i never thought this is sooo good to start my november comeback to school oh-so-so-yeah...

i arrived at school at 8, seeing zarah, geran, and our friend vrian slouching outside, greeting me--"biggs, ba't ampula mo!?!"... hehe... i didn't know na magiging obvious ang ginawa naming kalokohan! isa pa, i'm under skin treatment, para mawala na mga blackheads-going-pimples ko... nagbabalat nga muka ko kanina. sheesh... anyways, after nun, we had that two-hour break, and then a class sa RD (!), only to find out, c ma'am garcia hindi makakarating! kamalas-malasan!! hay. while we're waiting for her nun, i was happy to see our former blockmate denise again kahit sandali lang... magmamigrate na kasi cla sa states, january of next year.hay. bigla ako nalungkot! ngayon-ngayon lang! kasi naman... lagas na kami... huhu.

kahapon din, i settled to meet my cousin mhean (it was her bday-dday last mon!) and her friend ken sa school for them to get ustet application form... maya-maya pa dumating naman sila denis (cousin) and his friend dale. i left them in the main building kasi akala ko me D4 kami nun! wala rin!! wala daw c ma'am beriña! aww what a wasted monday!! unproductive... pifffff... umuwi nalang ako. and then i changed clothes, watched Daa! Daa! Daa!'s finale on Animax and Ultra Maniac's kilig episode for a while and then hinatid ko na yung special malabon for mhean's bday nga sa kanila.

at kanina naman, ang bday-dday na si zarah hindi pumasok! while still my face was filled with flaky-like-na-nagtutuklapang old skin (eww), just when we thought our plane surveying prof would not come as well, nagpakita sya, telling us na, nagbakasakaling andun pa kami... wow a... malamang. hmf. hell, his face would really mean to discipline you. prof, Eugenio... anak ng kamote... kelangan hindi ka na pa-banjing-banjing nalang! he would also mean to fail students too... carl (austine's boyfriend) for example is one. katakot tuloy e...

ten minutes lang, and poof! he's gone... a 5-hr subject to keep still... kaya yun, pumunta nalang kami kina geran, naglaro nalang ng Naruto sa PS2... tas nun hindi ko na alam... nakatulog na pala ako... ^__^

pagbalik ng uste, nabuhay si zarah the bday-dday gurl! tas nun we're waiting for our prof sa HOA2 naman. luckily, ma'am alarcon was there... at buti sya ang prof namin. matututo ulit ako! ang saya... i was belonged to a new set of groupmates: geran and chris. i felt good kahit ako lang ang babae... and for this sem we're going to discuss them how architecture has developed in England and Spain during the Renaissance Era... not bad, eh? sandali lang din yun. since 3-hour ang HOA2,.. feeling break ulit. nanlibre na si zarah ng iced cream. hehe. tas nung nag-4pm, dumating ang ES1 prof, c sir asuncion pala ulit. ok lang... tipong me bago akong "trick" (ewan ko lang kung matatawag na trick yun) pero naamazed ako... ipapa-try ko yun sa mga virgin makipagbonding sa dingding!! hahahaha!!! astig talaga...

syet, ES1... Engineering Science. tas yung isa kanina... Plane Surveying... sa thursday pa namin mami-meet yung TOA1 prof namin... aww isa pa yun... Theory of Architecture... ang saya na ng buhay ko... juice ko...

ngayon hindi na pwede yung pa-easy-easy na lang... lalo na kung yung mga taong nag-eexpect sayo, grabe kung i-rate ka. na-gegets mo ba yung sinabi ko? my mother for example. yeah, she may not be questioning me to some of my actions and all, pero nararamdaman kong she was hoping to see a lot from me... hay. minsan ayoko nalang magsalita kapag nararamdaman kong sumosobra sila, o lumalagpas sa mga bagay na, oo nga totoo--pero nagiging eksaherado most of the time... i hate hearing her humiliating me, sa totoo rin lang. though what am i doing lately to myself is considered to be a slight-tormenting one, nasasaktan naman ako kahit papano whenever i haer them say i was this and that... haha, kita mo nga naman... totoo pala talaga yung kasabihang masakit ang totoo, pati, ayaw mong mapagsabihan... MAHAL NIL AKO YUN LANG YUN!! but then, i'm trying to change what's bad in me, you know. kaya nga nung isang araw nagtanong pa ko sa isang kaibigan to eumerate what he sees bad and good to me. kaso mukang me kulang... hay.

isa pa yung kuya ko. parang hindi sya kuya sakin. magaling lang sya sa magcalculate at mag-english, mag-analyze ng reality problem, but you know what? kulang na kulang pa rin ako sa kanya. wala syang pakelam sa iba. wala syang pakelam sa mararamdaman ng iba... he's so loudspoken, the family's P.R. man, pero he seemed to be missing something... ang ugaling tao. yeah, he's kind, funny, pero madalas he's not acting like what a word "tao" should be. he has brains, yet he's inconsiderate sa mga taong nasasagasaan nya. ang lakas nya manlait pero sarili nya hindi nya mapuna. no wonder why pati ako napagbabalingan ng inis ng nanay ko. what hurts me the most is when my bro told me to learn to where i should place in this damn family circulation. sya nga hindi kayang ilugar ang sarili nya sa simpleng space. those firstborns... should know best. haha. but he doesn't know even the word 'good' for the least. i hate him... and i hate this feeling, believe me. he's the only sibling i could have, but look what he's doing to me... minamaliit nya ko, at hindi naman ako papayag nun.

lalo yata akong mawawalan ng social life.

if only my kuya michael was given the chance to live, would i still be feeling this dilemma? what if he really IS living? he may be about 24 y/o now... he may be doing just fine... maybe spoiled ako sa kanya. we could may be three sibs in the family or maybe, ako nalang siguro yung hindi na binigyan pa ng chance na mag-eexist dito sa earth.





** kuya michael died when he was still a baby... some heart ailment, i remember mom said.


keeping still...