re-posted: 2:48 pm

i hate this feeling...

have you tried to be the man in between fires? it doesn't make you all feel good at the moment. you aren't even sure if you could be titled as the best soundboard of the day nor the peacemaker of the century. (hey no one's quarreling alright?) but then who could i be possibly be pinpointing at? haha, holy cow, no one. the central analyzer. hmm... sounds good.

i know i suck at times but sometimes you just can't help but to differ things from the past to present. a lot of things happened for the past two weeks now that is why all my rambled thoughts seem to affect some of the things that i do. no one is blamed for that. it is all happening by will, and who in the world could actually know what's going to happen next? though i have started to sleep late-r than the usual, i am still coping to my own confused self as well. to find the questions that has started to form in my mind that im actually not liking it. i am not the type of listening knick-knacks of other people and then complaining things when they're gone or when they are not looking at me... man, i have my own dilemmas too. yep, with the S.

you don't even know if it still feels good right down your nerves but chickenshit happens all the time too. you can't tell why these things has to happen. darn. so then... i felt sad when i read the lines as if it was a mistake of putting it up so much to me... maybe i was the person in between fires...and i just can't help but to cater what a realistic thing must be.

i know you are not fine and i am not that insensitive to that. i was there with you, wasn't i? but i am saying this again: i have my own probs too... things that maybe isn't but hell myself i am considering it like one. maybe i didn't get so much time posting for this entry last night because i fear mom would caught me playing til 3am... haha. all these ramshackled thoughts got the eyes of somebody. i am apologizing for that.

(this segment is editted due to some reactions. haha.)


deary, im not numb. i knew it was me, my friend. thank you you appreciated it. maybe one time let's switch places...