text messages, et. al.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

read. jenk.
Bakit ang tao parang baliw? Pag kulot ang hair, inuunat. Pag unat, kinukulot?! Pag madali ang buhay nabobored. Pag mahirap, nagsusuicide?! Pag mataba, nagpapapayat. Pag payat nagpapataba?! Pag anduan, di pinapansin. Pag wala na, hinahanap?! Pag wala pa, inaantay. Pag nansyan na, tinataboy?! Pag mainit, gusto malamig. Pag malamig gusto mainit?! Pag mamamatay, gusto pa mabuhay. Pag buhay, nagpapakamatay?! Pag mahal ka, di mo mahal. Pag mahal, mo di ka mahal?! Pag ansyan pa, ayaw pakita nararamdaman. Pag wala na, saka gusto ipakita?! Gago eh no!
heyhey! before i start with anything hell-like for tonight i wanted you guys know that my aunt is in the hospital. yes. she has been there for four (4) days now and so far doing good. but then, due to her depression, she has to stay still in there for medications. include her in your prayers please. thanks a lot. :)
i was still going nuts to this TOA report. i just don't want to tell my partner that i am feeling kinda anxious about it, hoping that we would not mess around upon delivering it. darn... i just don't want to fail my partner, coz it sucks to know that i was the one who has to blame for picking the draw lot. and i was the one who lead the both of us to misery. waaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!!!! awwwwwww... this is bad... this is bad...
i can't get my mouth and my mind shut until that day is over. not yet.
man... i was really wondering... how can i pass this kind of trial? oops, not that reporting one, i am talking about a more serious and delicate one. well, mum and dad--though they never really wanted me too figure out-- they were so longed for our future house that is still in construction in antipolo. by the end of this year if the house is ready enough for move in, we are about to live quezon city and would be living there permanently. i mean, that is, if i was not out in the pic.
financial probs is still up. they could not finish it earlier because of me, spending the income studying in a prestigious university. semestral fees aren't the usual. it goes higher and higher. i felt so sick whenever i got to tell myself "what if i'll give way for it and stop schooling for a year?" it sucks to feel but its all true. i can really never depend on my big brother, darn him, he hasn't any care to anything at all. i can't just nag at him like that because who am i to do it anyway? i'm still a student in his eyes. i bring a lot of burden. my conscience is murmuring to stop wasting bucks to unimportant things. i can't even buy so much books that i need. i'm too shy to ask. now that something bad happened to my aunt... i can't. i felt bad, and tired for being selfless. but i have to. that's because i need to.
aww... let's just be quiet.

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