december 28th + my tooth still aches...

[ [ k a n j i t e :: quite excited! ] ]
[ [ u t a :: Everything You Want ~Vertical Horizon ] ]

sa wakas!

just at this moment, our guild in pRO-- Catz, decided to have an EB (egg bacon! haha!) sa powerplant at the 28th of this month. that composes of carlo, albert, emman (hopefully), paolo, shyla and me... (d pa natatanong si daryl....) hehe.... i am looking forward to meet pao, shy and dar! sana makita ko na sila!

Christmas nonsense pahabol....

yeah... my christmas afternoon was sooo good to experience. mom attended the house blessing of the balikbayans from U.S., where as my big bro went shopping all by himself. that left me in my room, reading my paperback and still mending myself to this annoying toothache i had. what a wonderful christmas gift...

by 7pm, as they have all arrived from their businesses, my nephew jowie invited me to watch a movie at the gateway mall in araneta. i tugged along ate tin to join. and in the end we hadn't watched any single movie. hahaha.... so, we just got paid our delight to our ice monster mudslide ice... haha. that's all!

a happy christmas to everyone!! ^__^

P.S.
dad will going to arrive later at noontime!
should i go with them fetch him at the airport?
haha... BATAS... lolx.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

i have just finished playing pRO with albert. haha... this is what we got...
oh yeah dude!! pasko rin dun! hehehe! merry christmas everyone!

hehe... we had this special quest in the game wherein if we completed it, we are given an item and in that we could wear santa's costume in 10 minutes! pretty cool huh! hehe!

so, til here! enjoy the holidays!!

my late entry---Paskuhan '05

maybe this entry was not so much awaited... hahaha... just maybe. ^_^ umm, i might as well tell some things that had happened this past few days, for pete's sake...

last tuesday, i, eyns and beng went to Jose Reyes Medical Center for our CWTS activity. we, along with our co-coursemates gave the gifts wrapped in cellophanes composing of fruits, toothbrushes, and other edible canned items. it was a good feeling though, as we hand it to those patients who might spend the holidays there. sad though, but because of their illness, they really need proper medication, that's why. and then what really strikes me is that when i got the chance to give a gift to a cancer patient. she was so glad as i gave her bunch of fruits and other stuff. her guardian was smiling at me as she said thanks. it was really heartwarming though... i was kinda shy back then as i told her 'ate, merry christmas... pagaling ka ha...' the cancer patient thanked me. it was the sweetest smile i ever seen of all the patients whom i encountered. i feel sorry for him on the other hand. maybe she was just hiding the fear of death she might or she might not be encountering. maybe the result of her chemotherapy, she had hair loss... i really feel bad for her fate. anyway, her smiles and chuckles made my day.she even giggled upon seeing her jar of Stik-O along with the fruits in store.

Doc Maranan (or CWTS coordinator) thanked us too for helping with the project. though we're only 12 students who joined (surprise lang na napasama kami hahaha) he told us that our in-campus activity is quite nearing to success... a job well done, as what he says.

when we got to school, my happiness was altered in deep frustration as i recalled my unfinished sociology research paper business with ma'am judith... i have to wait until 4pm then... badtrip... the paskuhan parades would start by 3. ayan... i just saw the end of it. darn it.

last tuesday also was the really much awaited Paskuhan '05 of ust. and hell yeah, because of waiting for ma'am judith, i haven't watched the whole of the intercollegiate street dance competition... darn. grrr.... hehe, FYI-- i have not attended even the first paskuhan i had. after our parade, i felt kinda ill... so then. last year, i was.. hmm... err.. we could call that i was absent.

so this one was my first, actually. hehehe. btw, i thought these guys would never come... thanks to albert, emman and karla (yeah! u rock girl! nice meeting you!) for granting my invitation. too bad daryl wasn't there to witness the fireworks display.. (and i wasn't able to meet her in person! sayang. T_T) also, albert and emman gave nice presents for me. (ako walang gift na nabigay...kakahiya... T_T) thanks! and i am using it right now... ^__^ i was with them as we waited for the giant christmas tree to gain its light, and at the same time the start of fireworks display. really cute and wonderful, i say! but, whenever you come to think of it,it was our tuition fee who did it all. haha... hindi mo na maiisip yun, when you really got the chance to see it in you own eyes... last year kasi wala... the money (or our tuition) na nilaan for the fireworks were just being donated in Quezon.

after that, emman treated the three of us in goldilocks españa. thanks ulit! then, they went home after that, as i went back to the school, knowing that i could still enter our building to get what i have left in the locker... but marynor said the guard wouldn't let anybody enter. hay. so, i might as well watched the remains of the program.

it was a nonstop band sessions, raffle giveaways and more whattabouts... the first band to perfrom were badong and his bandmates called Publico. grabe idol ko na sila!! in a short while i felt proud seeing my classmate doing whathis passion for music. astig ka dude. parang i wanna tell to the audience-- "oi! kaklase ko yan!!" and then one of his bandmates thanked our section before rendering their last song. wahaha, at that time, i felt i belong to that special sectionhe had just mentioned. gee! ^__^

the highlights of that band rockin' til night event were Kiko Machine and the truly tomasian blood--Join The Club... wahehe, that completes my night!

but you know what it really completes me? haha...

in random thoughts

[ [ k a n j i t e :: sa kanta lang ako biglang bumalik sa katinuan... ] ]
[ [ u t a :: Pangarap ~Barbie's Cradle ] ]

mom told me a while ago that dad would be spending the holiday here! wow! am i right? or maybe he would arrive by the 26th na... too bad. Xmas eve by that time was done already. anyway, kahit anu pa, he would be here spending with us the new year's eve... not bad... ^_^

ooooohh.. so.. that means... i.... aw, nevermind.

it's not the first time that i cut my class. yeah. for twice this day, i did CUT my class... the first was in my integral calculus class, and the other was i, together with my colleagues had to cut, eventually our literature class. we did cut that Lit class because we wanted to go and see the Marikina riverbanks for our next design 2nd major plate's proposed site, you know... the strip-mall thingy majigy...

but before that, zarah and geran brought us to a chinese restaurant, near their former school. hehe, i remember suddenly beng who keeps on rubbing her pair of chopsticks as i say "tol, walang lalabas na apoy dyan..." she told me there's still strips of wood in there blah blah and all... in the end i was totally stuffed with thebeef wanton mami i ordered. first time in the history that i didn't finished my meal. sobrang busog! mamimiss ko ung sabaw na yun sa pasko...

after that we rode the LRT2 and went to marikina riverbanks... we did saw the site (was that really the site?)... and luckily, beng brought along her dad's digital cam. we took shots of our faces, like the old thing we used to do... (yeah, call us vain and all we don't care.) we rented 2 single bikes also. haha, that was fun. i was so glad may pumayag na iangkas ako. haha. all in all as we went home tired and quite messy, unexpectedly, anton's group along with gabo were there too. wow. hehe... maybe beng would let me have those pics by the new year.

hay... to tell you, i'm not really in the mood to blab and blab... i feel quite sad and mad and confused and everything! unexplainable! we have to go early to school tomorrow for that feeling-kami'y-out-of-place CWTS activity. pineder and anton had already did the gift for us to deliver tomorrow at sta. ana... hay. after that i am going to pass this dumb research work to ma'am judith in the afternoon... but jc said we are going to have an assembly at 1pm, which means that it is a required thing to do! gaaaaarrrrh! its worse than expected! im too tired... call me anti-social, so what? anyway i was thinking nalang na its the last day before our 2-week long vacation. at last. rest rest rest.

paskuhan... sure it does have lots of great things to offer... to tell you, i'm not really that excited, you know. i often think, tommorrow would just be as plain as the normal days... watch the sun goes down and hey, gabi na ulit... but then i really wanted to watch the fireworks display in the evening though... i want to see it, and feel it pops in the air like that. i really want to... well, if that's what The One up there wanted to happen though... then be it. what more thing could be nicer than getting the chance of seeing it with a special earthling beside you, eh?

haha. this will be going to be a very long, tiring night for me =))

i suddenly felt sad. yeah, weakling... ...i just hope i could.

supercrammer.

[ [ k a n j i t e :: hmm... totally pissed off. ] ]
[ [ u t a :: You're A God ~Vertical Horizon ] ]

up until now i am still NUTS doing this damn Sociology powerpoint presentation that i'll place in floppy disks... this really makes me sick... knowing that i would be attending the Simbang gabi later on... awww how i love ma'am judith. $#%$###^*%#%!!!

my hair did nothing so new today, except for its attributes were only to dressed still in that fly away style. and that's all.

mom and i went out this afternoon... hmm... we bought something we could wear in the holidays... finally i bought the cap i am really fantasizing about... thanks to her!

so what else... hay nako... i'll just continue with this... crap. and i am on with my santa hat, mind you.

yeah. call me what you like.

the girl crammer...

Friday's whattabouts... (shit i like my new hairdo!)

[ [ k a n j i t e :: in to the research mode!! ] ]
[ [ u t a :: Eager Angels ~Session Road ] ]

---simbang gabi updates---

mwahaha! i got 3 nights, completed! lolz! i'm so lucky na me chapel dito malapit samin! wahihi!! and besides, i have overslept again! (i'm sorry beng...) hmm... that's why i got so up again this morning... (nyehehe... paastigan kami ni adikCarlo-ness. amp. we'll see into that!)

hmm... what else to say? oh yeah, last friday i was about to attend mim's debut at Plaza Ibarra in tomas morato... but i have found out recently that my assigned topic (you know, yung paimportanteng Sociology 3) in the Catholic Social Thought was sooooo long! tae! Pacem in Terris... amp... peace on earth nya mukha nya! T_T but, mind you: my classmates' topic were even longer than mine! i've been looking for this for a week now, and the due's tomorrow naaaa!! so ayun... hinde ako nakapunta...

and oh, last friday too, the Architecture basketball team had its game to the Commerce varsity at the gymnasium right after our p.e. class... we didn't realized that we are the only archi sutdents who were there cheering for them, amidst all those bunch of commerce ladies and gents. in the first two quarters the game was in favor of them, but the last two quarters went all wrong! it's like the world changes its luck! damn... it ended with the score of 68 - 74 (?) well, making the commerce team the winner. after that, the four of us (kring, beng, MayNor and me) went to SM san lazaro, for the knowing that only MN had her solid purpose of going there. While she was taking the session of her hair straightening, we left her and had our lunch and then go window shopping. beng bought a santa hat in her own expense ( in which she said if when her mom dares to call and ask me i would back her up telling that i gave that to her as a gift! [you lil liar! n__n] ) i wanted to have a santa hat too as well but it seems that it is way oversized! maybe i could buy in other stores that would fit my small head. lol. =)) pag-iisipan ko pa rin.

we returned after an hour to see MN's hair, hehe... and then kring suggested that maybe she could have her hair cut too... maybe she was bored seeing herself nad her hair straight and long, so we grabbed one of their hair catalogs and decided to pick that cute style for her. and then while looking, another page mesmerized me, telling me that i should put on that shoulder lenghted hairdo of that model. cute nya kasi, that model in the catalog has this bangs until to her nose level and her hair ends dressed in fly-away style. eh ako pa naman, without using anything my hair goes fly away, well that is if my hair was as that as short. kring deceived me, if i wanted too as well... amp... B.I.! so there!! i finally had my haircut done... bye bye long hair ulit! i really missed seeing myself this way! its not that short you know! i could still do a pony.. and i wouldn't deny my hair has gone thinner this year. i got so worried, hay. it runs in our blood though. add that white strands of hair would mean like a curse for me. and besides, though at times i even don't care with what would be looked like when it is uncombed every morning, still i got the chance to fix it. as it goes thinner and thinner, i could see my scalp already! totoo! you could ask my colleagues for this! so in this new style i got, it looks a lil bit thicker... eyns said yesterday morning it sure did have volume, unlike before it was that plain, old, flat long hair i used to have. she liked the way it sees my hair fly away! i laughingly blushed, anu ka ba! i'm quite annoyed though, coz the other side wouldn't twist normally as good as the other. still... i'm getting used to. thanks guys.

papauwi, beng and i rode the LRT (oh yeah... i am the known train dependent!). i decided na lang to drop by at PUP's search for Mr. and Ms Advertising 2005, with madie, as one of their 'staffer's or 'major organizer' kumbaga. as what her story says, they're the only section who hadn't got the share or part in the said event. so, ayun. organizers sila. she was so busy that she neglected to entertain me. pero nakapagusap kami. i was so happy also i got the chance to meet again Ms. Acel Bisa--former vocalist of Moonstar88!! after about three years? yeah. she sang a song she composed.. and on the back stage i got the chance to let her sign my paperback!! (wala kasing extra paper eh!) hahahaha! now my paperback sure does have a value now! ^__^ thanks madie, and ms. acel!

so, ayun lang! thanks for dropping by!


---a newly discovered fact---
(well, maybe u have already know this already... ako hindi pa eh! kanina lang!)

where did angels derive its name? huh?

hehehe... i was in-full-solid ears listening the homily the priest told us in our simbang gabi a while ago. angels--or anghel sa tagalog, as we all know means "a messenger of God", right? ang anghel pala ay nakuha sa word na "ebANGHELyo"... or Evangelist. so therefore... to sum it up, angel is an Evangelist... which means "Good News" naman. so, the carrier of the Good News of God, is in fact, called an angel.

oh musta ka naman! me nalaman ka na naman sakin! wahahaha! well, that is, if didn't know it yet. oha! isang bagsak! YEBAH BOY!! hirit pa ulit! NYAHOY CHAMPOY!! =))

first day funk sa SIMBAHAN!

[ [ k a n j i t e :: nilalamig... (brrrrr...) ] ]
[ [ u t a :: I Love You, Goodbye ~Nina (c/o myx) ] ]

literal na silent night...

oh well, the sky's blue pa rin up until this time. (6:19am) my class today is at 9 so maybe i could take again a nap... (hey, sleeping time is GOLD!!) but then i can't find a moment for it. so maybe i could just drop by here for a while and do some blabbing.

i told to myself that i would just take a two-hour rest last night... whoa... nagkamali calculations ko hehehe... luckily when i woke up i remembered that this day is the start of the novena mass, so i rushed telling her that we're going to be late. so we ended hearing the Good News outside though... yeah... at the busy street's sidewalk. there's this chapel at the end of our street, and when we got there it was almost full.. no. it was really full. but then it didn't stop me to pray. that's why i'm there, stupid. <--so bitter! -_-'

The moon was so big, so round and so bright a while ago that i can't even help but to take a shot on it. i'll just post it later, or maybe tomorrow so i could compare the moon today and to the remaining Simbang gabis... hehe... i also got shots of our quiet street. it was fun... add the scenario wherein a middle-aged woman and a dog passes me by as i was about to take it--a really unexpected 'stolen' pic, i say.


-----other things to blab about-----

at last! we had finally passed our first major plate yesterday!! wooohooo! hay. it was tiring, really.. but then you could see us that we have finally removed the needle in our stomachs! lolz. why? there's this bunch of crumpled papers geran formed into a feeling-baseball-sa-laki paper ball... or even a funnier word for that--- nangangarap-na-sing-laki-ng-soccer-ball ... hahahaha! btw, to freshen you up, geran started this crazy thought when he started disturbing me as i read my paperback beside the glass window. walang magawa... wala rin syang makulit. (i brought my paperback along... i did to read 5 chaps out of boredom, so.. ^_^) rick was asking me what color would match his rendered perspective, as i stole a glance on the busy street of españa... then my sight was caught by a huge billboard of dennis trillo. there... i was mumbling--no, yelling at rick's lifeless hopia tracing paper that papa dennis trillo was so cuute! he didn't mind me for his ears were stucked of hikaru utada songs in my mp3, but someone had reacted!(naalala ko si beng, she said it's not obvious in rick's face that he's absolutely fond of jpop/rock unlike the others!)

as geran hasn't ceased on throwing me those small bits of his crumpled hopia papers at my back, (pare, small bits pa lang yan, wala pa yung singlaki ng bola ng baseball) in our middle table was marlon, commenting.. "ha? ano, biggs?" yet i wasn't calling for his name though! i was so clueless, i turned back and faced him, and---taena!! hell pare, nagfeeling na naman sya! i daresay he was posing like dennis trillo in the billboard. hahahaha! "oi marlon, amp... tae ka ang feeling mo!" i laughingly teasingly said... hey, i can't help but to laugh no... ang layo-layo kase... hahaha! there... i was totally distracted. yet i still managaed to read two pages more.

rick and beng had passed their plates at the same time. good for them. there... we finally head home, kicking the nangangarap-na-sing-laki-ng-soccer-ball crumpled paperball. imagine from 7th floor, 7 people rin ang nakikisipa hanggang baba! (me, geran, beng, eyns, marynor, rick and marlon) umabot pa yon hanggang sa gulong ng dean ng fine arts and design! yeah! sa labas! wahahaha! we're so in-the-devilish-mode! =))

lakas ng trip! btw, our deisgn prof ma'am beriña gave our second major plate to think of this christmas vacation. ahuhu... it's not mere houses and landscape parks anymore... wanna hear me say this? ready?

we are going to build a strip mall... yeah! a MALL!!! exciting, challenging, yet... arrgh! ikamamatay ko! yebah!

pray for me. geez... oops! i need to get ready! laterzz.....

nanay... gusto ko ng bibingka... at hot choco pang-combo!!

wa hope.

[ [ k a n j i t e :: felt like the first time.... /ho =)) ] ]
[ [ u t a :: Do I Need A Reason ~D'Sound ] ]

oh yeah... i like this band so much too... sana i could have their compilation cd... onii-chan must be my savior... waha, my santa this christmas! lolz.

soo... up until now also i am thinking if im going to report on our literature class tomorrow. hu-waat! and as far as i remember, we even got assignments on that one too! hell... some pinoy legends and all... darn. garrh.. she would forfeit me, i am now pressuming that. i have no choice. too bad. hey, i do care of it, eh!! its just that i have to pray for good luck tomorrow that i hope my report time would be stolen by other reports... (tagalan pa sana nila....) hmm... i aim for bigger chance(s) of her not attending our class... but then that's impossible! she wasn't around too last monday in her one hour class before noontime. gee...

and you know what, even up to now i still haven't started plotting my exterior perspective ... shiyet.... whattacrammer.... dum dum dum....

yeah... nothing's so well today. i had 12+ hour-sleep, imagine! sooo good to be back in my bed, but the ironic thing was that i was so into longing in my bed last night, that i even missed that new korenovela on ABS primetime called "Only You"... ganda kasi ung bida dun! I think she has somewhere appeared on other storyline naman... ay, sya yata si Sassy Girl Tv series ng GMA eh! hay.. to cut it short, i already missed two episodes now. bad. bad.

nothing's really good and so well this day except that i have found nice things to know. wakoko... and mind you, it's really heartwarming. (or, shall say... flattering?) lolz. (aww you shut up biggie... kiligin ka mag-isa mo! wahaha! snap it out.) yeah.. i just watched tv, and... waited for my cousin's call to go to the clinic with her... at long last. then... after that...guess what? haha...ay, bawiin ko na... it's quite humiliating to tell though... and besides, it's nothiing so big to deal with.

hay... san na naman ako pupulutin nito? darn darn... im also feeling not so good today... **sniff**some yuletide phenomena eh? yeah... ang immune fortress ko ay natibag... **chug**... lamig... yeah... cheers for more more good luck...

cge na nga! this is my secret! i'm still into reading paperbacks up until now... yay... i bought one a while ago... Susan Wiggs' Halfway to Heaven... interesting, huh? weeeee.. i can't wait for christmas vacation!! =)) hope i may not be so jubilant that i may start reading it.. now.

no... not now... damn... hay. gudlak sakin. >.<

wooohoooo! then Jason Mraz rocks my pancreas! labo...

chicken little + OPEN-UP + final remnant thoughts on KENJI, still.

[ [ k a n j i t e :: ... ] ]
[ [ u t a :: Akin Ka Na Lang ~Itchyworms ] ]

i didn't got much time last night to write due to some 'things' that has happened... (gagayahin ko si dar: please visit my heart for more details..) lol.

two weeks (or three i forgot) ago, my colleagues and i planned to watch Chicken Little. we were about seven (or 6? did marynor said yes?) who said yes, but then when the date was put into reality, only the four of us (composed of beng, kring, zarah and me. but zarah refused to go either on the watching-the-movie thing; she said she'll meet her dentist then...) decided to watch still. eyns and geran were nowhere to be seen. (imagine we didn't find geran! haha lol) we still had zarah back then when we're eating at tokyo-tokyo at sm manila but as i said, she said she had this appointment with her dentist... so that leaves the three of us.

gorgeous beng influenced (haha, influenced talaga e no...) reklamador kring to wear--according to the universal-kabaklaan-code. yeah... i was the lone-dignified-solid wearing my athletic outfit (it was our pe before that.. [hey, i'm doing well in the lay ups!]) and so the movie started... it was kinda relating to me and to beng as well. you know... proving yourself to your parents (to my dad, specifically) and showing them that you, despite of being frail and being discouraged by several morons, could still withstand whatever trials being fixed right in front of your nose. the movie lasted for about an hour and a half, that i said to myself, deep inside, that i feel quite regretful with the money i spent, but you see, if i count how many times i laughed and chuckled with them around, it was worth the fun. thanks guys.

a while ago we had a little realization regarding again on kenji and his mysterious early death. even if they wouldn't tell, they were hiding something from the outside, in which maybe they thought this should be out of our "kiber". you know... to butt off. theories were then raised, and i have mine as well. if this is been sort of foulplay, as what the source's opinion was saying, then it could have been done with dirty hands. you get what i mean? up until now, i still can't believe it. you know what i am really thinking? well, yeah, that was the first one, and the other theory would be, maybe... just maybe... it was all a lie.

maybe he was still alive. somewhere, out there. it was all in scripts, maybe it was all a setup. but then again my mind would say why would they waste their effort fooling on us? but that wasn't the full main concern in here. the point is, what if, (and the what if's again and again...) it was true also?

we had short lives to live, whether we like it or not. as what my classmate is telling also, there are many questions that will rise as the time and the mystery will flourish. still, doing this isn't the solution. we all know that. we've known him even for a short while and we know he had dreams to ponder too. his life wouldn't just end like that. we know he had so many things that he wanted to do, to feel and to experience... this is unfair.

why? you see, if he really meant to do it on purpose (just an IF), hasn't he thought of his single life, equivalent to almost a countless people who wanted STILL to live in this world? he's so unfair to think that he just took away his life just like that, and in the contrary a lot of people were spending millions of money because they wanted to spend more time existing in this world? well if he would yell to my face na "kanya-kanya tayo, walang pakelamanan ng buhay", then i would ask him to let me do the killing for himself and be blinded by that Eudaemonistic theory...

^^^^^^^^^ooooo^^^^^^^^^^

as i was saying on the earlier lines, (just scroll it up) a while ago my big brother called to tell me if we could meet at the gateway mall after my class... when i got there, he was deciding if he would buy again a cd. (takteng hobby yan... nakakahawa!) but that wasn't the point in here. he treated me dinner at the teriyaki boy. wow. as usual, he has generated our food-trip-instincts again, with me as his co-critic.

in the middle of our meal, i opened up one serious thing about me. i told him, that my mind is open to a serious relationship with someone. well, that is, if someone would... you know... basta! all in all i told him that i mind and my heart is open to a new 'level', as what other people say. would you believe? he just grinned at me. he was actually grinning at me-- i don't know! if that was humiliating, well maybe it really is... see, opening that topic to your sibling, to my selfish-impossible big brother that i almost curse into my previous entries? it was so hard for me... if i was blushing, i wouldn't mind. then, he was telling me that if i was sure of myself. i nodded. and added-- wishing that our parents would also have a wide understanding about this, especially my dad... or my mom? whoa. you see, we are only two in the family, and i wouldn't deny that they watch out for me.

my father and i were close, even joking with this matter most of the would make him laugh. he was grinning too like the rest gestures they were showing me. it's like it is impossible for me to deal with this things, for a certain fact that i move like boyish and all, and that i feel i'm somewhat quite pitiful. but then i can't just kid around forever. i know that. he knows that. and by that time i want him to let me decide for these things. and he would understand me. ...like my big brother said, "of course papa will do. you are 18 now. you shouldn't be told to do this and that. you have your brain to use for." though he was vocal and prank, what lies were all true. he even teased me if who's that unlucky guy i've been blinded, and asked me to describe a little. (haha.. kakahiya.) somehow i thank kuya for letting me go out in my shell... this was really the very first time. and hopefully not the last.

again... i know every individual has his own point of view. mine is just that simple stupid one but hey, that's what im feeling. i feel sad... sick and tired all over again. no one wanted it to happen, that's for the least. we still got to move on, and deal with our own lives too... still, we just can't stay things this way and just meet our end. we got to keep moving also and value the most important things in us... especially our life. do repentance for our wrong doings, and change for the BEST ant to stick to what is right.

though we've been shared by this blinding fact we got, kenji's my friend also... and just like the others, i would definitely, certainly, be solemnly praying for his soul.

dot dot dot.

... ... ... ...

wala.
akong.
masasabi.

basta.
yun. na yun...

"kung ano yung sinabi mo... same lang din sakin."


december 10, 2005.


h i n d i a k o m a k a t u l o g . . .

balikan ang ganda, tamis at pait ng unang pag-ibig...

[ [ k a n j i t e :: humihinga pa... ^__^ ] ]
[ [ u t a :: Lakambini Bottom ~Datu's Tribe ] ]

hehehehe.... anu ba ang problema kung... mataba?? --ayon sa kanta.

i was chuckling to death when geran gave me the chance to hear it in his mp3... i was so curious then, kasi i remembered hearing it in barkada trip... oh i think it was. binibining seksi...!

after i have posted that recent shocking entry i had, my friends dixie, diane, madie (but madie wasn't able to come with us though...) and i watched this at the gateway mall cineplex 10. (first-time ko manood don ahoy wag ka...) we thought we were watching rowling's harry potter and the goblet of fire, but then we all agreed to settle on the movie of our own... yeabah pinoy. haha. you better watch this movie. really a must-see movie. the point of not watching it isn't because maxi was gay and you hate seeing gay people... it really shows in here the other side of pinoy life... the REAL one i could say. in the beginning you could here the cue instrumental of pepe smith's whaka-naka guitar chords followed by yoyoy villame's funny song about his undying loyalty to his c-howntry Philippines. as in hindi pa ko nakakatagal ng sampung minuto sa sinehan, i was dying of laughter... but of course, it wasn't just mere laughing and oooh-ing there, you know... as what it says, "ganda, tamis at pait ng unang pag-ibig."

you see, gay pre-teen maxi's world revolved only to his family composing of his papa, who sells snatched 'big-time' celphones, and his kuyas boy and bogs. he's in the circle of a small-time criminal family. he then cooks for them, wash their underwear, cleans the house, like the real 'sister' material to them. he even covers their tracks of them so they wouldn't get caught by the law. until he met victor perez, a handsome, idealistic and a man -full-of-principle policeman. he befriends with him, and eventually victor taught maxi to the brighter side of good living. it inspires maxi to look on a better life then... and being placed into a decision of to which side he values the most. his love for his family, or, of course, victor.

too much of this. all i can say is that, this movie shows what a real pinoy setting is at. walang pagkukunwari. lahat, totoo. kahit mga pagmumura nila, you will think na hindi yon movie. it's like you're secretly peeping into their hidden cam all over the house, the street and leaving you questionning yourself in the end. you got to watch it...!

bukas, chicken little naman... syet wala na kong money!! ^__^

i, soon will vanish... and before you'll notice me, i'm on my way out.

THIS IS TOO MUCH.....

so it was true...

lutang na naman ang utak ko. and this is even graver... my ex-blockmate, kenneth siao---kenji, committed suicide.

c o n f i r m e d .

i still can't believe it... i just can't!!!!!! this is outrage!!! and the sh*t part in here is that, no one could tell why... his family told the ones who hold the mystery to buzz off and not take it as a big ish... taena! and why the heck... oh no...

i felt like crying. not that i feel pity or sympathy or whatever related words to that. i feel mad... and confused. and going depressed again. i can't understand kenji why. so maybe i could assume he had really lots of problems... or maybe on the very contrary he wanted to explore the lines of death and just be like that...maybe my conclusions were wrong, or right all along. you know, in just a short while we have known kenji for being a little weird with different ideas scattered in his head. but then hindi yon nakahadlang para maging friend namin sya.

i'm sick of this... one day i was talking about mike's tragic death, and now this... i was praying last night that i hope this rumor was just a joke. but then it came to my senses that i really have to accept this damn fact. i have no choice... several days from now it would be his 30th death day. see how fast it was. we weren't even informed. you can't blame us, we've got our lives to deal with too...

kenji... man. wherever you are right now, though i don't know what is really your motive, though i think of you right now and maybe you're beside me, together we read this lines i am typing for you, and sooner you'll ignore this, but hell kenji my friend... i don't care.. i'd like to say this. out loud, in your wasted spirit...

ang unfair mo pare... eat that.

nakatapos rin ng abbey + iba pang samu't-saring emosyon.

[ [ k a n j i t e :: wala. wala na akong feeling. ] ]
[ [ u t a :: Cinderella ~Stagecrew ] ]

hmm... so then. my tremendous HOA sleepless nights were over. astig sila beng, tapos na sa reporting... they would not mind it ever again til the sem ends... eh kame... sa feb pa... how lucky are them...

so ayun nga, i've already passed my HOA plates that was dued last tuesday (dec 6) na i thought i could have done 4 plates out of five. buti nalang kahit ngarag, nginarag ko na talaga ng tuluyan. I did three abbeys: two last monday and the other was just on that day. isang cathedral sa italy and the leaning tower of pisa as well... grabe... ewan ko kung lakas arki parin tong nararamdaman ko... basta it ended fine but worn out, really. ang tikas ko pa nun a, monday night nagchichikahan pa kami ni denis sa phone. haha... muka na kong mangkukulam talaga.. gee... paklayp.

after the lecture of my three amigas (Mn, eyns and beng) gave, mams, ge, beng, kring and i went to mini stop p. noval to buy meryenda... (pero ang totoo kinukumpleto nila geran ung sanrio hahaha) <--mga bakla. after that, we went back to our hyperactive class i've never seen before... bouncing and hooting like there's no tomorrow. hahaha. akala pa nga namin prof asuncion would never come. balak na namin i-boycott un. hahaha.

and then before our prof came, i had found out just yesterday something really heartbraking.. pero hindi sa heart ko ah... but then, i feel sad for beng in a way. oo... ssshhh quiet ako. haha. sa mga curious: save your imagination man.

i went home feeling super exhausted, and yet pinagpilitan ko ang sarili kong manood pa rin ng amazing twins... weeeee wala kang pakelam pare... after that i didn't know what happened. i slept...

overslept.

paggising ko, around (4am) damn i got several text messages of same people, and same content. pero isa yung kinagulat ko... i was assigned to manage out org booth today... pero. ta-daa... supposed to be nalang bigla. i had a major stomach ache i don't know why... mom suspected that kasi hindi ako nagdinner... whoa. ganun? pero, hell, it was really life-taking. sana hindi na maulit. mahal ko ang buhay ko syet.

i told myself to go to school pa rin kahit na ganun... i tried to sleep once more, pero nung paggising ko, its almost 8 na! too late! and then it started to groan once again! sabi ko, ayoko na... nakakahiya man pero i told my superior to let me this day off... tutal hindi lang naman ako ang staffer na nagkalat sa tabi2... kaso, i still feel awful. hay.

when i got better, mom asked me if i could accompany her to her check-up... cge kaya ko to, i told myself... and got myself up. she had her checked up, i ate kariman (binili ko sa ministop nearby the hosp.) and then i suddenly remembered kenji. (nasa World Citi na kase sya ngayon, eh sakto sa hospital na din yun si mama me check ups) up until now i still can't believe what i am hearing. at hanggang ngayon i'm still gathering some updates from whoever i could. and then after nun i told mom if we could by a pair of sneakers for me... wala lang... maybe she's in the mood, or she wanted to buy a new pair of sandals too... (na bumili nga :)) ) besides, we're both hungry too... (ako ulit gutom, after ng isang kariman!!) so ayun...

we ate heavy lunch at the gateway mall food court, then after that we went to sm cubao for those things... mom got an anonymous call while we're going there, and i found out that it was my uncle, asking her the year when my aunt started living in quezon city, etc etc blah blah... then ayun. i was so jubilant a while ago that i even bought two cds sa record bar: Halina sa Parokya of PNE and Dramachine of sugarfree. hahaha!

syempre i went home, exhausted. lagi naman e... yun.

awwww.... can anybody please tell me what's up with kenji now??? i'm tired of this kind of stuff.... T_T

i, soon will vanish... and before you'll notice me, i'm on my way out.

Catholic Social Thought

[ [ k a n j i t e :: the usual ngarag... ] ]
[ [ u t a :: Posible ~Rivermaya ] ]

Rerum Novarum
Quadraggesima Anno
Mater et Magistra
Pacem in Terris
Gaudium et Spes
Populorum Progressia
Octogesima Adveniens
Justice in the World
Evangelii Nuntiandi
Laborem Exercens
Solicitudo Rei Socialis
Centessimus Annus

naiintindihan mo? ...

syetmanaks na sociology 3 to... yung highlighted part ang report ko... hay wala ako maisip na matinong entry... walang kasiya-siya, kundi kanina, pinagtripan na naman si ma'am garcia about sa riddles at pinoy proverbs... bat ba lage pag literature humahagalpak kame sa tawa? wahehe...

pagdasal nyo ko sana me dugo pa ko... puyatan na naman to... aja.

HOA HOA HOA... aww this is getting me insane... o.O

humiliating lucky day...

[ [ k a n j i t e :: sobrang inaan...tok. ] ]
[ [ u t a :: tunog ng electric fan... ] ]

wait. :: hahaha! natawa ako sa report sa tv... hahahahahaha!!!! teka lang..

11:40.
natawa ako dun sa ale, ayon sa report nagbebenta daw sya ng pabango.. pero nung binuksan yung parang mga "lata", green peas ang laman... ang weird sobra.. basta yung pagkakakwento natawa ako, kase hindi yun joke, as in in real life! hahahahaha! anywayss....

grabe. akala ko late na naman akong aabost sa BT. never naman ako na-late dun pero shempre iba na yung sigurado. ayokong sumayaw ng darna sa harap no. kanina talaga, natakot ako nung nilapitan ako ni arch. lee at pinaalis ako sa upuan ko. no, it's not what you think: tinulungan nya ko with the plotting and designing the plan. kahit na ganun nahihiya ako and at the same time nanliliit sa sarili kasi parang kitang-kita nya na hirap na hirap ako--pero dude, masking tape pa lang ang hawak ko nun... ididikit ko pa lang sa lamesa yung tracing nang maisipan nyang "pagtripan" ang pananahimik ko. hahaha... pero ganun pa man, i felt lucky na rin, because i've learned so many things about drafting by just mere watching him do the plotting for me.

kwela pala si sir! habang kino-coach niya ko on what techpen to use sa pagplot ng mga puno, tinanong nya sakin kung anong banda yung kumakanta... (btw, gabo brought his stereo.. sabi kasi ni sir last time para me sounds... =)) ) sabi ko... "sir, Hale po." (at that time the song was "Kung Wala Ka") sabi nya.. "ano!? hmm... laseng yan." tawa ako ng tawa sa kanya... sabi ko ulit... "eh sir, sikat yan ngayon!" he ain't got enough, humirit pa ulit ng isa.

sir: nahh.... eh ako rin eh, me banda. yung point 2 nga...(techpen)
ako: wah, sir... di nga, (sabay abot ng point 2) seryoso...?
sir: (me halong yabang sa tono) oo... (nagpaplot ng puno)
ako: weh hindi nga?
sir: parokya ni edgar...
ako: (tumigil ang pagdaloy ng dugo sa utak) ... ... --??
sir: banda ko yun!
ako: --...huh...?? (nasa matindi pa ring pag-iisip)
sir: diba "edgar" nga ako...?!! (FYI : his name is Edgar Lee)
--->biglang pasok si eyns..
eyns: (nakayuko, natatawa) si sir eh no, hindi ko agad nakuha bigla yung joke eh...

dun ako natawa. dun kaming nagtawanan lahat... =)) tas maya-maya tinanong ko habang abala sya sa paggawa ng isa pang puno...

ako: (tinitignan ang bagong plot na puno) ayus ah... sir, pede rin ba ko maglagay ng "kaartehan" dun sa likod? (kaartehan -> landscape)
sir: (hindi sumagot) hmm...
ako: ... (tinignan ni eyns yung plano ko)
eyns: ...?
sir: eh....
ako: ..?!
sir: ...yaan mo na to. nilalagyan ko lang ng kagaguhan tong plan mo.

tawa ulit kami. ayus eh no!!

in the end, nakakuha ako ng 1.50 sa both ground floor at roof plans... hehehe... not bad. =))

so what else... hindi pa rin tapos ang ngarag days ko... hay hay hay... bukas ko na balak simulan ang lahat ng trabaho... kaya ko to!!! waaaaarrhhh!

nga pala, ngayon pa lang nagsimula ang spirit ng xmas dito. me xmas lights na kami, pati garland na palibot almost half sa pinto. hehehe...

ngayon ko lang rin pala naipakabit yung straight edge ko... ito na ang simulaa!! wahaha... gudlak satin.

i, soon will vanish... and before you notice me, i'm on my way out...

the old school kid's comeback... nagbibit pa ng isa!

[ [ k a n j i t e :: aww... is there any room for exhaustion? ] ]
[ [ u t a :: Zoom ~Fat Larry's Band ] ]

"oh... zoom... you chase the day away.... high noon... the moon and stars came out to play..."

thanks to beng i got this mp3 back in my playlist... i miss this one sooo much! haha, biglang switch ng genre ng music! lol. eh bat ka ba!! walang pakelamanan! hahaha!

it took quite a long while for me bago makapagonline ulit... busy kase ako with those depressing design plates lately... to tell you next week would mean a whole lot 'hell-er' for me! haha, is there such a word? aww, HELLer is better than saying the superlative. anyways...

as if my adventure always starts on tuesdays... para kasing adventure ang bawat Plane Surveying meetings! oo no, umaga pa lang halos binabagyo ko ang catwalk makaabot lang sa grace period... ngarag ako nung araw na yun i remember! we, org staffers are scheduled to held that arki quiz bee in the AVR... i was assigned to be the timer and the answer checker (written in lengthwise), zarah as the scorer, kuya jeff, being our OIC and the announcer of the tallies, and our quiz masters eden and jc.

the activity was great, at halos mawinadng kame sa bilang ng mga nagsisipagsalihan. in second year, nakikipagtatagang dalawa lang ang sumali... san ka pa... sa third year apat. sa 4th year tatlo. hindi matitino ang mga estudyante namin. hahahaha... and then we had to catch up to our remaining subjects... luckily we're excused... but not on the quiz.. shux. >.<

hmm so what else.... hahaha. what made me laugh last tuesday was when we saw our english professor rebonded! as in napa HUWAW kami at pinuruhan sya ng kantiyaw... and then one shouted, c pineda--bumanat ng "waaaaah, ma'am I CRUSH YOU!!!" total mega super hilarious yung nangyaring yun... it ended na gumulo yung block namin while heading sa parade grounds, laughing...

sa ngayon sobrang ngarag ako, kase im rushing so many plates... hay buhay arki... abnormal ka pag hindi mo love ang cramming...! im telling you. wala na nga akong social life... T_T... pinagkakasya ko ang buhay ko sa ym... and yet, walang online... i suppose they were all out. busy rin na kagaya ko... ang kaibahan nga lang... mga major plates ko kahit sa panaginip dala-dala ko!!! uhh.... errr.... natutulog pa ba ko, yun ang tanong??! hahaha.. hay.

i miss him... o?? kilala mo? oo miss ko na sya sobra. ako kaya...? nah... don't strain yourself to figure out who he is.

happy birthday dar... sayang di kita nabati ng mas maaga... -_-" hope you had a great day... smile always!!

me bago akong motto... time is gold. jenk... hinde, ngayon2 ko lang naisasapuso yan... maniwala ka naman. pramis kamatis!!


i, soon will vanish... and before you'll notice me, i'm on my way out...