speechless

[ [ k a n j i t e :: parang still life superb... ] ]
[ [ u t a :: Baby, Now That I Found You ~Allison Krauss ] ]

a while ago we had a recollection held in the Medicine Auditorium--yeah-- a few exaggerated miles away from us... in the reco', we are given the chance to have our confession. believe me, the last time i had my repentance was a year ago pa... anyways... during the reco i have found out something that made me stopped. the rest was....

i just can't believe this is really happening... to me... to us. up until now i'm having this moment of very unexplainable silence, making me and my heart feel warm, really crazy. i don't know... and to tell you the truth i don't know what words will come out next.. the lines i will type right now, and even the things i will do tomorrow... the next day... and even days to come. he may not know, but i am feeling an extraordinary feeling... he may not know, i wished before that hoping one day someone will give back the love i wanted... someone who will see me for who i am and for how i appreciate and value most important feelings... he may not know, i wanted to feel being into something new, to let me use those words i never did out of fear and angst that may cause... he may not know, i longed for him to act this way...




he may not know, i could actually feel the same.





keeping still... and still...



..g i v e.. ..m e.. ..a.. ..s i g n...

thank you... i'm so gonna FAIL!!! >.<

[ [ k a n j i t e :: mixed... bahala na. ] ]
[ [ u t a :: Panaginip ~Moonstar 88 ] ]

"paggising... ika'y nasa aking piling..."

inabutan ako ng malas...

yup. hindi ko na pahahabain ang istorya.

i got a grade... err--umm... i got grade's' of 5 in my two oral exams in pe a while ago... super low na ang memory ko... naiwan ko yung class number ko... if i was only lucky... if i only belong to table#7... (tables 7, 8 and 9 would have their oral tests next week...) i could've had a chance... pero sa kamalas-malasan ulit... table #1 ako. darn... i'm ready for a fact that i would re-take my pe in summer... but this is the bitter truth... sa lahat naman ng ibabagsak ko BAKIT PE PA!!!!! anak ng kamote... ng tokwa... ng kabute... hindi ko maatim--hindi ko matanggap na ang pinakamadaling subject sa kolehiyo ang uulitin ko... sana hindi... pero.... pero.... pero..... pero.... malinis to.. pati sa kusina... aww....


malabo.

on the brighter side... i wanted again to say thanks to albert for today. woops... hehe.. oo. nilibre ako nyan ng sine. nood kami "Brothers Grimm" hehe... ang helmet na buhok... (ayon sa mader mo!) ang mga banat ng 'hala' (na nakuha ke ayin!) sa kakulitan... astig. salamat... saya nya kaya ngayon... oo. pansin ko! hehehe... bat kaya.. pero salamat s akanya dahil natanggal sandali ang pagkainis ko sa prof na un. kainis. sa uulitin... sa uulitin dalangin ko'y wag mo masyadong puruhan ng asin ang popcorn natin... masakit sa lalamunan! lolz...

next time na yung ice cream mo...

ay, speaking of ice cream... ehem!.... eman... oo ikaw. darating din yun... hindi ko nakakalimutan...

tapos ... si chrissy dear... tapos si arts... tama ba... patay... hala... huh? ano?! waaaa... haba ng hair. bleah...

ngayon balik ako sa HOA... til then...

"bulaklak at singsing, nawala... sa aking paningin..."


keeping still...

Hail to the Queen of MVP! (lol)

[ [ k a n j i t e :: past adik mode! <
[ [ u t a :: Ewan ~Soapdish ] ]

weeeee! JB of pbb is out already!! i'm so happy! (for raquel)
just got out from aeRo... i left them playing still. lol.

hmm... this week would mean real torture for me! i got so many plates to do... luckily, that one in HOA (History of Architecture) would be the last one. and that one in D3 too... i still can't forget what prof. sityar had given me... that 78 grade... whenever i think of it really makes me sick. grr...

more... we have group project regarding wood and wood products in Building technique also... aww... i have an oral officiating in PE on tuesday! aww....

but here.. look at me... i still managed to play... this... aeRo thing. haha. a while ago my thief high became assasin cross at last... as for my high wizard, just a while ago, with albert's help i aimed for 7 (or 8? i dunno) MVP's on Eddgas---straight! isn't that cool? wakokoko!!

i know gossiping is bad.. but then i'll tell you one.

......

aww, i changed my mind...



keeping still...

Railway Encounter >>

[ [ k a n j i t e :: regaining my hopes and... argh. AJA nalang. ] ]
[ [ u t a :: shiny red balloon ~barbie's cradle ] ]

i was riding on the train a while ago.. (well, i always do...) carrying all my things, depressingly looking at my floor plans... look, i got tired, fed up, almost my brain twisted with all those sleepless nights, even restless days of hardwork... and then all you got to get was a f*cking 78 grade (equivalent to 2.75 after all). but then that was super ... CRUEL!!! like i wanted to curse him! yeah. you could say i got a "passing" grade... but when you've come to think of it, this i nothing to be proud of. see, others got worse than i had. he'll surely have his day...

anyway back to my story... yun nga.. i was riding then... i was in V. Mapa station when suddenly a woman from behind started to ask me if i did the boards... (my plates are moounted on a 20x30 illustration board of 4.. quite big huh..) i said yes, and got quite uneasy...she smiled at me an told me she had a daughter who's in 5th year now, also in ust--architecture. i can't help but to utter the word 'wow'(!) in her face and smiled. i told the woman, that sure her child really had a tough time with her professors and weekly budget. (like i am feeling right now) 'yes, she does', the woman said, but she told me that she too was a graduate of architecture as well and her husband too! then again, i can't help but to feel intrigued, and then even though she was a total stanger to me i managed to ask more of her private life--in a nice and slow way that in return she's gladly answering. she didn't take the board exam in her time though, and just reasoned that her husband is an architect na.

she told me a lot of encouragements, and then afterwards praising my work, making me go all red... (geez) then my nerved stuck to a quote i solemnly believed... "na kapag sumuko ako, ako rin ang talo..." (how inspriring! bleah!) she totally agreed with me... and then again keeping on cheering me up... thank to her i gained my hopes and my creative imagination to start again...

we both said our good byes at cubao station, as she wishes good lucks on me i hand her my deepest appreciation. she was a very nice person... AND! you know what makes me admire her more? though she didn't use the knowledge she got from her chosen field, she has still gotten in a related profesion..

she is a Cartographer...

damn! FYI, Cartography is one of my dreamed passion and being a frustated b__yl__t! ... argh. hulaan mo.. :))

got to go now... btw, if you're gonna ask me how i got to ue my "disabled" letters, (the line in my keyboard starting from F1, w, s, and x aren't... LUCKILY working... duh..) ... haha... it's a secret.

whew! i got tired copying and pasting them... that's it!! bummer.

i need to finish this... uh... opening prayer for later's seminar. haha. it's my turn now... wish me luck.


keeping still...

whoa...

la lang... high wiz na ko! hay. mejo pagod, pero ok lang... adik talaga... hay nako. la na naman ako patutunguhan nito... mejo badtrip lang ako, nao-OP ako, kasi mahina pa ko... me sarili akong mundo kanina... ni hindi ata nila alam na nag-eexist pa ko. hay! they're so happy indeed that they almost forgot the weak one. lol... la e. d ako makarelate... uh-uh... next time na ulit ako maglalaro... hmm... maybe on the weekend. ha! asa pa.

just do the girl thing... nah.

keeping still...

`GAWI BEATS 'EM ALL!

[ [ k a n j i t e :: 'brrr...' cold... though i could see the sun's rising up.. ] ]
[ [ u t a :: Angel ~Sarah McLachlan ] ]

surprise...! the moment i arrived home (around 6:30+pm perhaps) no one's inside. fortunately i have the duplicate key mom gave to me one time. i lazily placed my stuffon the sofa--restlessly taking a sit with a long moan as i got theremote control, trying to condition myself to a good watching habit. suddenly i remember i didn't have an extra uniform to wear for the seminar tomorrow (which happens to be today---or later!) luckily my nephew arrived, checking me up as he borrowed our phone. as i was doing the laundry he was telling me he'll be calling the customer care of LU! to retrieve hi transactin number (if i'll tell all of it then this would be going to be a long story.. *sighs*) then, brother arrived, bringing something food to eat.

haha, i chuckled a bit, scolding myself... i almost forgot--eating is a part of living... with the plates i am doing i started to forget about what food is all about. geezz.. but then i didn't manage to eat either... i don't know, but i found myself resting in my bed, holding Jowie's RO Juno guidebook... there.

an hour before that i was in school, trembly sitting at the lobby along with other students and with my classmates, waiting for the announcement of the champion of the UAAP Nonstop cheerleading competition. I was doubting on UST Salinggawi before--- pano ba naman.. we haven't watched any single throw! back then we have kasi a test in Building Utilities... i was kinda surprised DLSU got a nice performance... since it was the last group to perform... and the only team we got the chance to see on the TV screen (Beato Angelico bldg. has a TV now... i think all bldgs. of UST has) on the final announcement, we cheered for our school, as FEU got the 3rd place again. (last year it was them too) and then doubting DLSU or UST to be the second... surprisingly UP again got the 2nd place... in the preview i didn't find it nice though.

then the final blow was announcing.. UST Salinggawi got again the 1st! four times in a row now!! all in the lobby was cheering and hooting--not minding the other classes we might disturbed on the next floors. we don't even mind the security guard and some 'hindrance' to our joy! haha! those pessimistics! lol..

anyway, i need to ready now for that ... uh... seminar.


keeping still...

rainy days on... fridays.

[ [ k a n j i t e :: better than the previous.. ^__^ ] ]
[ [ u t a :: Yukkuri ~Hitomi Mieno (from Daa! Daa! Daa! OST) ] ]

hey.

guildmate pao and i have a secret! wooon't tell!!!!! lolz

i got a whole lot better... still ain't finished with some reports to blab... whenever i remember what i told to the class a while ago about the thing regarding on abortion, i feel an instant humiliation! what i said a while ago didn't sound good... as if my terms mixed up, leading me to a bad explanation. anyway, thanks to my groupmates for quenching my fear out. ^__^ (i hope i didn't disappoint anton though... >.<)

the rain hasn't stopped yet, one thing i'm fantasizing about. weird huh... well, i have to admit, i got amazed seeing our window sill in a fog-like thing... making me feel tranquil again. well, most people got annoyed with the weather... but for me it's the other way around... but then again not that i am loving it so much---not to the extent that our campus would turn out into an island because of it. haha... [ [ u t a :: Tenshi No Yukibiri ~Fukuda Mai (His&Her Circumstances OST) ] ] ohh what a tiring day... nothing's so special.

haha, i saw my crush in the other section a while ago.. i guess that answers all the weariness-go-away of this day... hey i've got some plates to do.. til then.


keeping still...

would you believe?

i am sick...

aww... just when i thought my immune system would still back me up from my previous design plates, reports and all... with all those past sleepless nights and even restless days, my fortress have given up.

long last. my second major plate in design is finished... darn. gumaganti si sityar i guess... and oh! before i forget, i would like to thank beng, geran and eyns for helping me out. thank you guys really... i would never pass those boards without you guys... aisle o' view!

i had a great day though tiring... kasama ko ba naman si jc (my labsss) nagsoli ng overdued books sa lib... haha. tibo na ako... why jc? (jeanne carmi [yup, she's a girl, our class pressy] ^__^ aww no! 'je-an' sounds more like it!) it's a long story though... (i'll spill on that next time..) hahaha. wala kang pakelam. then again. thanks to beng and geran for walking with us. it was fun. ^__^


sana tumalab na yung decolgen... grrrr....

sa lahat ng may sakit... get well soon to us. (you know yourselves by now.)

kay boy labo Carlo: thanks for reminding and worrying about me. i really appreciate it.. so much. u rock pare! mag medicine ka nalang imbes na mag CoE! wapak!

this is going to be another tirrrrrring night for me... that has been for today.

keeping still...

ngayon lang ulit...

[ [ k a n j i t e :: mixed... ] ]
[ [ u t a :: Return To Pooh Corner ~Kenny Loggins ] ]


back to the days of pooh...

danix and eman's bday was just finished... kasabay nila ung sept 11 bombing sa NY before.. hahaha! beat that... well.. happy birthday again guys.

i did the usual thing, got the usual thing and again, got pissed again with my internet connection... nu-uh.. nothing's new...

i'm happy and sad i don't know. [now listening to - Baby, Now That I Found You ~Allison Krauss] sa pRO, i bought all the money i got from munaks' shoes... pinambili ko ng gamet.. immune muff and stuff... thanks to albert though, i asked him to buy it for me... kasi nanay ko nun at that time me tatawagang important... that part was a happy one..

sad? i just turned out suddenly.. well, the weird thing is... i really don't know.

then i was like feeling i'm losing again the chance of being happy again... darn. ang gulo ko talaga...

ang tagal na pala since nung last entry ko... i was busy.. really. or for some reason, i felt lazy writing... i just got so many thoughts to ponder... i don't know where to start... i was kinda depressed lately... school stuffs and some other things. then last week i've made a biggest confession of my life...

one thing i could've never done in my entire life... if only fear never made its first before me...

all my feelings back then came subsiding... as if it was placed to a small jar and will get you surprised one day it will burst out--at the wackiest points of your life you never expected nor imagined... but then, it all happened in a blink... i could never turn back anymore...

i couldn't..

ask me why...


nu-uh... i won't tell you...




keeping still...